confessions of an ex mistress that learned her lesson.
89Screwing a married man will always put a crack in your heart.
Reasons why you shouldn't have an affair
- Stay away from married men!
If you are considering having an affair with a married man, read this article first, and take some time to chew it over before jumping in murky water feet first.
Married men who cheat are the whores.
Try keeping a journal of your affair with a married man youll look back someday and see how silly you were
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and the lesson was, a relationship with a married man can only be just fucking.
I decided to create a hub about one of my many mistakes with the male gender...the day I officially became a mistress.
I have a strong personality, and I am never shy at voicing my disgust with the vast majority of males I come across. I also consider myself a feminist and a strong female in general. Basically, I'm one of those broads who doesn't let people push her around or play her out. I've known many different men, I've dated many different men, and I know how they operate know all of their tricks, and I don't let them pull their usual shit on me.
While some may call me a ball busting bitch, I have always prided myself in being independent and I will always go to any extend to stand up to any male who does me wrong. However, I do still have a heart and I am a die-hard romantic to the core. I believe you can be a feminist, but still love being in love.
And because I listen to that bleeding, beating, sappy muscle in my chest, I let one of those real rico suave type of men get to me, really get to me, and of course, with my luck, he my neighbor and he was married.
When I first met him, I spotted his wedding ring right away, and shrugged him off as some nerdy older guy ( he is 10 years older than me) when he was outwardly flirting with me during our first conversation.
And then slowly, he would come around my apartment more often, and I would talk to him, and flirt right back, because there's nothing that I love more than toying with a man's heart strings.
This flirting and talking and stealing small bits of alone time together kept snowballing over the next few months. However, his wife saw us together outside talking to one of our other neighbors, and she yelled at him, and told him to get upstairs. I believe it was the day she decided to hate me.
Now before I continue, I must add that when I met him, i was fresh out of an abusive relationship, so I did not trust men at all, and my self-esteem was in the trash can.
While our quazi little fling / relationship was developing I started to develop very strong feelings that i knew were heading straight towards the L word, so I got scared, and started withdrawing from our interactions and becoming less available, which to my dismay, made him want me even more.I know exactly why I fell for him: I felt like I had really taken the time to get to know him and vice versa before anything physical happened, He made me feel safe, he was very complimentary which boosted my ego, he was obviously attractive (especially because he was "unattainable"), he was protective over me, and I actually trusted him. He also used to talk about his relationship with his wife, and how horrible she was to him, and I believed him because I had witnessed her being quite abusive towards him outside. So I let my guards down under strong feelings of empathy. He was also possessive ofme. I would tell him I went on a date with someone, and he'd get angry and jealous. This made me feel like I was the only person he loved.
Six months after I met him, I fell in love with him. As soon as I realized his was the center of my thought process throughout the day, I knew I wanted to get him in the sack.
I picked a day when his wife would be at work, and he would be home, I took him into my bedroom and bam, 2 minutes later, the deed was done.
And while he was collapsed on my chest recovering from the intense but brief event, i finally woke the fuck up and realized how naive I had been. I didn't cut things off with him right then, I took sometime just to make sure that I was right that he was a total scumbag and a royal asshole.
I mean really,six months of anticipation, fantasizing, and emotional foreplay---only to find out that he was a minute man--- was my motivation to turn my heart OFF and treat my fling with him as a research project.
I started to avoid him and stuck to talking to him on the phone, claiming that I was busy.... ( uh, I wasn't about to put out again). I figured if I spent my time only talking to him, I'd be able to figure out what his intentions were. Let me briefly sum up a months worth of phone convos: I'd ask him when he was going to leave his wife, he said he needed time, we'd make small talk and he would always manage to change the subject to sex, so I would accuse him for only wanting a piece of ass, which he would deny up and down claiming that he loved me and he would leave her for me " soon soon". I'd tell him I felt like he was bullshitting me and he would laugh it off, and I would act angry, only to have him try to flirt with me more. I asked him one time what I was to him and he said " you're my second wife, I love you, I want everything from you." He spit some typical game everytime we talked. One day he said to me " hey, my wife needs to think I hate you." And after that I stopped talking to him. She must have had her suspicions and told him not to talk to me. It got to the point where I said something to him in a place where she could see us talking, he screamed at me and put on a show to make his wife happy, and I told him to go fuck himself.
And that was the end of that. I didn't cry, actually, I wasn't upset at all, initially while I was "researching" I was intrigued and treated it like a fun little game. However, when he verbally assaulted me just to save face, I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit.
So my point is, being a mistress is enticing because its hot, risky, sexy, and forbidden. However, I read people's confessions on here, I see my friends go through it, and the "screwing around with the married man" story is always the same and will always have the same ending--- They will keep juggling two women because men always want to have their cake and eat it too.
Now, I was a complete moron to get involved with him in the first place, I completely take responsibility for that mistake, and I've learned from it. BUT I see a lot of people that are in the same position I was in COMPLETE denial and playing out the mistress role in a serious and long-term manner. To these women: what the hell are you doing? wake up and dump his ass, he won't leave her for you!
Married men who cheat get away with having mistresses because they're very good at playing the mistress against the wife. Once the mistress grows resentful to how "awful" or "lame" the wife is, they forget the fact that the man is CHEATING on someone to be with them. Which makes the man, a pig, a cheater, a liar, and a bastard. The men lie to their wives to be with their mistresses, and they have their mistresses by their heart strings...so the mistress never stops to think " Hey, hes lying to her, why should I believe he wouldn't be lying to me?" The cheater gets away with his little game for long periods of time because he can keep the mistress under his thumb by leading her believe that if she waits just a little bit longer, they can finally be together once the wicked wife is out of the picture. Well mistresses, I have news for you, the wife isn't so wicked, if she was, he would have left her long before you came along, she cooks for him, does his dirty laundry, puts up with his shit, is clearly oblivious to the fact hes fucking you and getting away with murder, and spreads her legs for him when he doesn't have access to you. Why would he leave such a convenient and comfortable source of nurturing? Especially when he already has you?
Oh, and by the way, mistresses aren't sluts, so if you call yourself a "respectable" mistress, you aren't fooling anyone. A lot of mistresses are women who have great credentials and are wonderful women (who make mistakes), so stop making it out like you're different because you aren't a whore, because you won't get your happy ending....
The sooner you realize he doesn't love you, and being involved with a married man will never amount to anything more than just fucking, the sooner you'll be able to move on, and if you're lucky, you might be able to escape humiliation and heartbreak while keeping your dignity.
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Yes it did...my oldest daughter was also in an abusive cituation and it was very difficult for her to finally get out....I can understand where you would think he was truly loving you...but you are a wise lady to have removed yourself....Life sucks sometimes.....G-Ma :o) hugs
I am glad you removed yourself from that situation, I got caught up in a similiar situation myself. He isn't going to leave her for me, and I moved on. I thought I had so much power, but in reality the guy was just playin us :/
yes susie q i know who you are talking about and i told you that would happen.
so even smart girls are vulnerable when trust makes them blind ,luckily sex in your case has made things repel. that drives home the truth that only with your spouse or lover the time after making love will be enjoyable. with others it is said that sex will make them feel guilty and be very repelling
Great Hub! Way to speak your mind. To all mistresses: affairs, like marriages, fail for the same reason. They lack the intamacy and emotion neccessary to sustain long term. Statistics show that over 75% of people who marry their partner from the affair eventually divorce.
Sounds like you did not even do the mistress thing right and that your criteria for a relationship are amiss. Quitting a relationship based on the fact that your lover came too fast and you were not satisfied is totally ignorant, it's quite common for a man to do that the first time for a number of reasons and last 2 hours the next time. You show your ignorance in many ways, I'd say stop blaming the men and look to yourself, not in the morality of what you do, but in the mechanics, you might benefit. A woman who cares the way you pretend you did will work with a man to make the sex what she wants as well as what he wants, the sex manuals and therapists are full of that and have been telling how to do it for decades. You obviously have a problem beyond what you're bitching about.
I am very happy for you that you woke up to the reality of what a cheating husband really is, and that you were being played. You hit the nail right on the head, if the wife was so horrible, he would have left long before you came along. The mistress is not “special”, if you ( “you” being the mistress)were, he would be out of the marriage the second your miraculous ass came along, you are not special - you are a piece of ass. If the wife is ignorant, you most likely aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last.
However, I disagree with you on one point, woman who knowing have affairs with married men ARE WHORES. Along with being whores, they lack any morals, self esteem and common sense. When you KNOWING crawl into bed with someone else’s husband, you deserve everything that you ultimately are going to get, hurt, pain, embarrassment, every last ounce of it. I don’t care how good of a liar he is, and they are all great liars, you are asking for it. There are plenty of single men capable of possibly breaking your heart, a married man will defiantly break your heart, but you are helping to break the heart of innocent people - ie: his FAMILY when the affair ultimately comes to light.
Briefly, my story is this. My husband turned 40, had a midlife crisis, found a woman who was in desperate need of attention, she pursued him shamelessly (I saw the phone bill with the 20 incoming calls a day) and had an affair. You would think he would have “traded up” if he was going to cheat, NO. She was short, fat, the same age and had four - yes FOUR kids. (Told you he was having a crisis) At any rate - I caught them, had a phone conversation with her, explained if she saw me, she would understand he flipped a lid and she needed to back off. With 20 years and two children, I loved my husband enough to get him some help and try to save our marriage. But noooooooo, she thought she was SPECIAL. I caught them again and threw him out. It took him two months to come running home and I was foolish enough to let him. It was exactly 361 days to the day that I could him for the third time and I filed for divorce as soon as I returned home from vacation. (She lived on the other side of the country and he was a pilot, so it was not like they saw each other a lot, which made her an even bigger whore to last almost two years slopping up my crumbs).
In this time, she divorced her husband, assuming HE would divorce me, called my home insisting he leave me - surprise - I threw him out. This is the level this woman sunk too. Our divorce has been in the process for 1 ½ years. He has since dumped her, has begged me for yet ANOTHER chance. Wants his family back, realized everything he had, loves me and cant live without me, blah, blah, blah…….. Sorry - DONE.
Now, that stupid affair ruined our life, our family, destroyed my children’s parents, their innocence, their childhood, took everything away that my children and I had. It was not from a lack of trying on my part. I had three separate conversations with this whorebag and she just insisted he lovvvvvvved her, yet could not answer why he never filed for a divorce nor left me. I am stuck in a situation now that I can not afford to get out of, damned if I do, damned if I don’t. The love of my life is now the nightmare of it. The safety and security of a home and a family that my children once enjoyed is forever taken from my children.
No matter how wonderful you think your affair is, the only result that is guaranteed is PAIN, and you may not be the only person who suffers it, innocent people suffer too, and you are responsible for that at the end of the day. You can pick up and move on, but you leave behind innocent lives that have been forever shattered.
im going through same situation, i still in the middle of struggle...but everything in your article is true...i dont know what was i thinking..i hope i get past that soon ..he is just not worth the effort.
But what if it's the 'mistress' using him? What if she goes into it with both eyes open, wanting no commitment, no love story, no desperately needy man pining after her? What if the rules and boundaries are laid down and agreed before the start'? Cold and unemotional as that may seem, some women (and every woman has her needs, that doesn't make them whores) knowingly enter into these kind of situations and would balk at the idea of him leaving his wife - the very fact that he is married is the main reason she's with him. I sense another hub developing!
Great story, if not a little naive
I'm sorry, I mean no offense, but if the mistress knows that she is with a married man or even a man who is in a relationship where the woman is completely kept in the dark about the affair, the mistress is a whore/slut too. Men are dogs we know this, but women should stick together, and not hurt another female in a way that she herself would not want to be hurt. I think that if the mistress wanted to be happy at all in her life she would try to show that instead of creating her own cycle of bad karma. When you help a married man cheat, how are you going to live a normal married life? You won't be able to trust your husband or any of the little "wannabe mistresses" that come his way, and ultimately he will end up cheating or you will.
Break the cycle... that's my only piece of advice to anyone who wants to be or is a home-wrecker.
Again I mean no offense, I just know that I wouldn't know what to do if I woke up one morning and found out that my family was destroyed by another woman.
I commend you on writing this article.
However, I think you're trying to salvage "your pride" when you said mistresses arent sluts, whores. Well, if you're not a slut- how can you destroy someone else's life with your eyes wide shut? You are called a "mistress" because you knew the man is married or in a serious relationship and yet you still went for it. Otherwise, you wont be called that.
The good news is- there is always karma. You destroyed another person's life, a child's innocence- you know somewhere in your future- you will be married too and you will have children too. You better start praying that your dear husband wont find someone to cheat on with. Lets face it- men will always take whatever is offered to them for free. Its up to the woman- if you dont want to wreck someone's family, then you wont.
And yes- mistresses are not special. Thats why you are a mistress- you are the second fiddle and you let him treat you like that. At the end of the day- he will always go back to his wife- AGAIN- if he really did plan to leave the wife, then you shouldnt be a mistress right?
Women who use the explanation that men are dogs and are just being MEN as it relates to infidelity are doing nothing but enabling unfaithful husbands to continue in affairs. I find it sad that most wives blame the mistress for an affair than their husband! I mean how absurd is that!? HE took biblical vows. HE looks his wife in the eye and blatantly lies ab`out his behavior. HE invited the so-called homewrecker into the home and gave her all the tools to wreck his family. I am so sick and tired of wives acting as if their husbands were helpless. GIVE ME A BREAK!! Maybe if wives or just women in general will start holding men accountable for their actions they will see the error of their ways and change. If he is able to use the argument that he was just being a man(as it relates to infidelitY)and his wife accepts such BS then why should he change? We as women should truly unite and challenge a patriarchal system that designs us to compete with each over bad men. We are constantly bombarded with images that links our value, beauty, success, and happiness with having a MAN.....even a jerk...as long as we have one!!!! By no means am I'm implying that the mistress isn't a contributor to the marital bond and I will go on record to say the has stepped out of line. My only argument is lay blame where it is due. I strongly believe that men are dogs because we allow it. The unfaithful husband is nothing but a criminal that constantly gets aways with it because both the wife and mistress cover up his crimes.
Ok basically marriage is a covenant between God and two people, and you don't even go there! U dont seduce a married man and start becoming his friend and confidant thinking there's a chance your going to win him! Hello, if a man is married and you know it, whether he's seperated or not, you don't go there and date him! Um hello, He's off limits, no need to bring your kids around and get them involved in the madness>it's totally selfish to date a married man, bottom line, point blank! Nothing good can come from it, so it's wise that we fear God and his laws!
Let me tell you my stories. I’m married man. I was out of town for business with my coworker. We are attractive to each other even before this trip. After this trip we start see each other and more we spend time together more we falling in love. After two month we were completely in love. We’re spending every minute that I can get away from my wife together. Than we have first fight. We talk and I said every fight take small part of our love which we are never getting back. At this time I don’t realize all this fight because I’m married. Then we start having more fight, but we managed to fix thing up. We did lots of stuff together, movie, food, walk, and spending time. At some point I was thinking to leave my wife. I tell you through I was afraid of the thought what that will do to my wife. My wife and me been married 20 years. So I try to don’t think about that. My mistress and me spend four years together, but instead grow close we start grow a part.
You will ask me why? I guess I ask this question to me after we are broke up.
This was multiple reasons, but I think the biggest reason I can’t hurt many people to make this one happy. So I did hurt this one. I don’t know anymore if I make right choice,
because I lost not only lover I lost friend. We still are working together. This is sometime real pain. Several months pasted from our brake up. I still think about her everyday. I’m going to places where we when together and sometimes I see her there, but we don’t even say “Hello”. I knew I hurt her bad. Sometime I want to die to do not think about this anymore. I hope this get better soon, because I can’t stand this anymore.
I am a mistress, we have the sex that she won't give him, it's hot with no commitments and i still get to have a life. It's perfect. Get over yourselves and deal with what happens in most marriages.
I was a mistress who knew about the wife honestly I felt bad the entire time until I got to know the lady now I don't never will and I don't really care if it happens to me let's face reality now wides if your husbands cheating it's because your doing something to make him now mind you if you aren't and his just doing it for his own pleasure than look at it this way I just helped you out now leave the asshole and find you someone who can be your everything you eve wanted stop complaining and start thanking these woman for it you cannot destroy a happy home unless it ain't so happy in the first place PERIOD!!
I would not call the mistress a whore/slut. My brother is stuck in a marriage with a nagging, fat bitch of a wife - for now, my husband and I are slowly taking over the company so the lazy pig will get nothing. They have been married 26 years, she would not work as he struggled to build the company, he hired a beautiful woman who is now his mistress as you say, she is lovely, kind, sweet and far from a whore! She is perfect for my brother and the only reason he didnt leave the wife earlier? HE DID'NT WANT TO LOSE what he worked so hard for! That is it in a nut shell ladies, men don't want to lose their stuff! Don't assume he loves his wife blah blah. If he did? His heart would not be open to another. J loves my brother and he loves her. He married a woman who turned into a shrew! Now suddenly she feels wronged and betrayed? Give me a break! She treated my brother like a door mat and now his heart is with a woman who loves him, respects him and once he is divorced? We are all going to Hawaii to celebrate his new marriage to his 'slut'. Sorry ladies, if your man is actually in a relationship with another woman? HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. He is there to protect his investment!
I would not call the mistress a whore/slut. My brother is stuck in a marriage with a nagging, fat bitch of a wife - for now, my husband and I are slowly taking over the company so the lazy pig will get nothing. They have been married 26 years, she would not work as he struggled to build the company, he hired a beautiful woman who is now his mistress as you say, she is lovely, kind, sweet and far from a whore! She is perfect for my brother and the only reason he didnt leave the wife earlier? HE DID'NT WANT TO LOSE what he worked so hard for! That is it in a nut shell ladies, men don't want to lose their stuff! Don't assume he loves his wife blah blah. If he did? His heart would not be open to another. J loves my brother and he loves her. He married a woman who turned into a shrew! Now suddenly she feels wronged and betrayed? Give me a break! She treated my brother like a door mat and now his heart is with a woman who loves him, respects him and once he is divorced? We are all going to Hawaii to celebrate his new marriage to his 'slut'. Sorry ladies, if your man is actually in a relationship with another woman? HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU. He is there to protect his investment!
There's no stereotype on how the other woman should think. Snatching the man away from his wife and kids are not the motivation for real "loving" women. The other woman knows very well from the very start that he's married...but for some reasons, she fell for him. She allowed herself to pour out her love. Accepted his life. Even love him enough to allow him to live the life he chose even if there's not much room for her. She knew it coming. She's not dumb. She's not a victim too. Not any of them. But there is something in giving love that makes one complete. It came at the wrong time. But the purpose is not to tie down the man. Not to make kids suffer. Not to pain the wife. But to allow the love she keeps inside to be embraced and consumed. There is always a purpose on everything. It could a lesson to be learned, a need to be fulfilled...Something only them would know. And when that purpose is over, they know it's time to move on. They'll learn as they go. Allowing freedom and respect to move. Nobody wants to stick to a relationship that makes one suffer. A whore is far different...selfish. But merely falling and allowing one to move on is far more loving... Loving enough to allow someone to live the kind of life one chooses. Still wrong. But far different from the negative stereotypes posted here. Judgement bypasses the real person of the other woman.
amen KATE! i agree. His heart wouldn't have opened if there wasn't love there to begin with (or anymore). And not all mistresses are whores. I made sure I tested for him so I could prove to him I was "clean", we had a very loving relationship and it had to end because he was nervous about losing. LOSING HIS INVESTMENT! he always said he has hope someday.
Poor souls. I have no regrets. It happens. more often now than ever. people need to STOP shackling themselves to one soul and making that vow. Ive been confronted 2x in my 20s to get married, and i ran for the hills! both times, i was like, YOU have NO IDEA what you are asking me when you talk about getting married!
So glad i am single and loving life and myself! :)
No woman should ever settle for being some guy's secret.
This can work, if the woman has good reason to want to stay away from a committed relationship. After my 2nd husband left me, still in love with him, I started an affair with a married friend--at first, to break the pair-bond that I still felt with the husband who had abandoned me. As the affair continued, I found myself actually falling in love with my married lover. This was NOT according to the plan!! Then of course, his wife found out, and he refused to tell her the truth--he claimed we had only kissed--oh, brother!! So what did that accomplish? My friendship with my lover is not off limits, according to his wife, I dont respect his decision not to tell her the truth, that we had been intimate. I did, however, fall out of love with the husband who left me, which was the original goal. I spent Valentines Day alone and sobbing, while my lover had "a nice evening" with his wife. Hmmm, not sure if the pain is worth it!!
Blah blah blah whores are sluts. Let me tell you something... having been a so called "slut", there are so many variations on this game. I am ending an affair right now with a married man who claims that his wife is sexually repressed. When we first got together, the marriage was "open"; their band-aid of a solution to reconciling their sexual problems. It was just supposed to be about sex, but after a few months, this fellow and I fell in love with each other. Common story. At this point, his wife isn't so tolerant of our connection... I hear indirectly about the complaints. He is suddenly less available, and our encounters feel much more on the down low. Sure enough, he never bothered to tell me for six months that his wife demanded that he stop seeing me. He couldn't break up with me, so he kept seeing me on the sly, playing us both. She found out and threatened to kick him out. He wants to save his marriage (oh yeah, there are kids... so we all have to think in their best interests... its true). So, he tells us all the truth; we break up (no sex for going on five months), and he's in the "fight for his life" to save his marriage; counseling for depression, sex addiciton meetings, cut off all relationships with all lovers... while he waits for her to take him back. Here's the kicker, ladies and gentlemen. In this very contrite phase, he tells me that this has happened before. More than once. It's a cycle... one that BOTH husband and wife perpetuate, drawing a different third person in each time. Their marriage is fucked up, and rather than get a divorce or do the REAL work in couples counseling that they should be doing (maybe they are, this time?) they keep going through this cycle of emotional distance and sexual incompatibilities, leads to tacit permission for an open marriage, leads to an affair that gets too emotional or crosses a line for the wife, leads to inability to reconcile, leads to a betrayal, leads to "the end of the world", leads to breaking off of the affair and "recovery", leads to reconciliation around the affair... not the real problems, leads to emotional distance & sexual incompatibilities... rinse, wash, repeat. So, please don't blame me for their problems. I at least have the sense to get off their fucked up little merry go round.
I think this female made a mistake by thinking the man was going to leave his wife for her, thats messed up he was playing the two against eachother thats so sad then he was a minute man meaning he just wanted to make it happen quick and get it over with thats horrible, see i could never play myself i am married but even when i was younger i never wanted to mess with anyone's husband it was against the rules for me, yes you are right these dudes tell the sideline anything he was just caught up in the moment but i bet his wife did not know if he was screwing her dag and she put it on blast on the internet she's pissed i understand but i could never do that to myself just screw someone and i know he has a wife, but no ones perfect that was just something i could not live with, yes and the sidelines do learn the wife is not a so bad person, the husband is the one with the insecurities and mental no values problems. At least she learned from her mistake.
Well I disagree I think all women that sleep with married men are desprate old slappers that can't keep their legs closed & they know all along the men arnt going to leave their wives! Mistresses are needy & pathetic & are available for sex! Men are pathetic risking everything for a woman who has no morals or self respect & the wives are blind & what arseholes the husband is & how many slappers are opening their legs with no morals! Once you see a wedding ring that should tell you all you need to know! Women who still fancy a quick fuck are just dirty sluts breaking families up for their needy pathetic desperate selves, who have no real chance of love because they have no life values & let's face it who respects or wants to love a tramp! You all get what you deserve & I hope life brings you no joy
I would also like to add the cheap little tarts who do Persue married men do so because they are incapable of getting a man of their own! No self respecting man wants a woman who spreads their legs so easy! Truly pathetic, if any of you had any morals or values of life you would have a lovely man of your own, one day if you are ever capable of someone loving someone who is cheap & easy they will cheat on you with a cheap whore & you will be on the receiving end of an affair & get the heartache you deserve & you will know the hurt you have caused others! But let's be honest all the women who freely open her legs when they know a man is married who would want them?
I'm the victim, my husband cheated. I feel he is a liar and I don't know if I will ever trust him again. The mistress he had an affair with sought him out, she was a "friend" from the past, his younger year past. She had a bad marriage...needed someone to talk to is what it started off as, so I was told. But the phone records show how she persistently would call my husband, quite flattering. I asked her to stop...she ignored, my dog in heat husband found the situation now a conquest...right?? Nonetheless it came to an end and he chosed me. I feel she is a whore, not a victim. And a stupid whore cause she gave free and ended up with nothing. She got what she deserved and it's not satisfying because now I'm lost, I'm struggling to find me again... She and my husband who says he has always "loved" me ruined me. How do You shut off 29 years???
I will tell you my experience with Brad!! I knew he was married but of course I really believed that he was in a bad marriage...all along I believed that until one day I woke up and realized that he ahd been lying and just needed a band-aid until his wifey came around!! what I did I called and left her a nice message about her faithful and no backbone of a husband!! yes, ladies, he was her slave! two years later I start getting weird emails of crushes, hang ups on my voicemail at work and he even had the nerve to call the company that I was at looking for me....thought they wouldn't notice but everything gets logged in and all the people knew of him and the dysfunctional family that he has!!!they told me...i ignored it....then our children ended up in the same place for skating and he would park by me, next to me and infornt of me...finally i gave in called to see what's up and the it started again!!!!!!!!!!!Soon enough i caught on again but this time I decided I would teach them both a lesson for trying to use me again!! He couldn't handle pressure and he's also afraid of closed spaces so for a few months, I would pick fights, made him not pick up the phone when wifey called, made him meet up when I knew she would suspect, told him that I couldn't promise nver to tell and wallah.....it happened...he broke and told her himself that he had failed again!! He though he would break me!! WRONG SUCKER!! YOU see I was never that into you....I played you the same way you played me!! By you telling her she would know that you came back to me, which means that all this time you were into ME!! never forgot me and wasn't into her, lol, lol. isnt it obvious.., of course she will never throw him out, she doesn't work, depends on him for everything, and wants to be taken care of....she also has no self-esteem and has no self-respect. She has to live with a man that will never be faithful because he had other affairs before me and after me as well..he told me,lol, lol...GOOD LUCK!
Last person who wrote that vile post! You will never find happiness! Yes the man is an arsehole but as for you wanting to destroy lives! Knowing a man is married self respect & self esteem is WALKING AWAY not DROPPING YOUR KNICKERS
All you sad desprate women that can't find a man of your own and destroy families I believe in karma and wht goes around comes around! One day the shoe will be on the other foot you will experience pain like never before! When that happens remember KARMA
what a bimbo! yeah youre a hero! give me a break! You were a jerk too for doing that to his wife. you arent a victim. what made you think you were better than her and treating her like crap is making yourself into a victim! you are sad. get over yourself. you really arent that great and neither is he.
AffaIrs happen for a reason. Someone somewhere is unhappy. A man or woman won't just stray from their spouse because the marriage is wonderful. Affairs happen when couples are unhappy and having problems. I do agree sometimes affairs just happen. Never sleep with a married man. It is morally wrong. Let him leave his wife first! You can't make him love you and want to be with you. End of story. Life is way to short to be in a miserable marriage.
Im in love with a married man.....I met him at his job, he works at a state agency and i was a client. He is not the type of man i usually go for, hes not handsome, he short and skinnier than what i usually go for. When i walked in to that office i didnt pay him any mind but, when i walked out after handling my business he chased after me. He started by teling me in a very respectful way how beautiful i was and how my smiled captivated him and if he could have my number. Now, i was single. Not really looking to get into a relationship and wasnt dating anyone in particular. I dont know why i decided to give him my number, but when he smiled i felt like i should and i did. He called me half an hour later, at first after talking to him a couple of times i realized that i wasnt really interested in him so i started to avoid his calls. But he was persistan, we both worked close by so he would send me lunch at work, or ask me to meet him for luch. He would stop by my job after work and we would go to the park and talk. One day he kissed me and sparks flew. a couple od days we went on our first date and it was wonderful, i loved the way he cared for me, how he protected me and how he made sure that i was always happy. That night afer our first day he came inside my house for the first time. I am a very sexual person and naturally after that first kiss and the time spent together i wanted to have sex with him. I felt that before i got in to deep with him, i wanted to know how it felt to have intimacy with him. I dont care what anyone says sex in a relationship is very important and if the physical and the emmotional dont click then why even be with that person. That night i brough him in my room and started to undress,i was ready. He wasnt, he told me that i was special and that he wanted much more than sex from me. That he felt it was t soon. I felt great when he said that because to me that meant he had respect for me.
As time passed everything was great, we got to know much more about each other. When we first met i asked him if he had children, he said no. If he had any commitments, he said no. I was 30, a single mom of two and finding a man that was 38, no kids, established, with his own home was awesome. Time passed and he began to meet my family, including my kids. He was so good to them, spent time with them, got them things, did things that my kids father wasnt doing and i fell madly in love with him.
One day i get a blocked call from a woman telling me that she has been his girlfriend for 12yrs and that he is also married with kids. I wanted to die!!! How can a person lie to me and deceive me like that. Still when i confronted him, he still denyed everything. Saying that the woman who called me was his x and that she was mad cause they were over. Since that day i have gone through hell and back...i stayed with him because my kids loved him and i didnt want to take him away from them. After that i became pregnant and after having an abortion i felt so angry that i did the unthinkable and told his wife. Its been clse to a year and im stuck in cycle, they are still together. He says he wont leave until his daughter who is 18 goes to college. He lies to me about being with her and lies to her about being with me. Since i told her about us i see hiim monday thru friday and he is no longer allowed out alone on the weekeds becaue shes afraid he will come see me. He never treated me like a side chick, so i didnt catch on. he never realy slept over cause my kids were always home and i thought that was inappropriate.
I get called a slut and a homewrecker by his wife all the time. I get threats and get harrased by her, her friends and family members. My only mistake was to belive in him and to stay in this situation after finding out. I love hard and i am deeply inlove with him. I fell inlove with his personality and his soul. I think he is a good person that made a horrible mistake and got caught up. I want to deeply get out of this cycle but i also dont want to give up on us. I know that he probably will never leave her and why she stays i dont know. Im not going to say that im not hopefull that hell leave her but i know that he would probably do the same to me. Had he told me that he was married i would have never even gave him my number.
I AM STILL MARRIED MY HUSBAND HAD A FLING OR MAYBE A AFFAIR MARRIED TWENTY NINE YEARS . i DIDNT HAVE A CLUE ABOUT THIS THEN THE WHORES FRIEND RANG ME SHE SAID DO YOU KNOW YOUR HUSBAND IS SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE AND SHE IS CARRYING THERE CHILD.i WAS IN A STATE OF SHOCK .
My husband had an affair with a 50 year old woman! I am 35, she just use to leave the door on the latch for sex. I was pregnant at the time & had no idea. After a really traumatic birth my baby died at 1 week old, just as I was trying my hardest to even set foot out the house she got her friend to call me to tell me! I am devastated & what hurts really bad is this woman just wanted to hurt me because she wanted to hurt my husband! I had the right to know about what a scumbag liar my husband is but what evil bitch would want to put another woman through thus on top of loosing a child? I also found out I was pregnant again & let me tell you it's lucky for her as I could actually get away with murder after the stress I have gone through. This dirty old slag also walks around without any shame or remorse what so ever & may as well dance in my babies grave. She is the most disgusting creature
My husband is heartbroken & trying to win me back & I am devastated to the point were I am sick & she is delighted in the misery she has caused.
I can't believe there is women out there like this! Her own children are close to my age with children of their own & I pray if there is a god, she endures pain like losing a child! How could she walk around like my baby is insignificant
I HATE HER & she is a dirty old slag & my husband has threw his family away for some old whore & I HATE him too. He has his payback of not knowing if he has lost his family & living with the conscious of his dead child & she is shagging around again like the dirty old slag she is
I have been reading all the comments and sense a ton of anger from the "wronged" spouse, from the mistress looking for more than the "scumbag" could deliver, from the wife who was "wronged"; You are all off base-everyone in an affair has some blame, some responsibility, some contrition when a spouse strays.
I speak from experience. I was the other man.
We were both married-in relationships we were partly responsible for creating. We had an affair- we both got what we needed from it and parted as friends.
Are we sluts, whores, scumbags- NO. Were we liars-yes, in order to spare us and all the innocent (? are there any) people pain.
If her husband hadn't routinely and habitually undermined her confidence, witheld approval, demean her, ignore her needs, wants and dreams- she never would have had the affair.
Had my wife not isolated me by her demands on my time and attention, witheld emotional support, used sex as a weapon, had the ability to be truly emotionally and sexually intimate, been a partner, sought counsel and opinions from everyone but me, and witheld even the smallest shows of affection never mind the fact that prior to the three years without sex the previous 10 she was too tired,too busy, too stressed, too too, for anything but christmas, holidays, our anniversary and my birthday. I never would have stepped out of our marriage.
My point is before you label, name call, blame, pontificate, and rage against the injustice of whatever "your side" of the story YOU WROTE is; look no further than your own actions and bad behavior.
If he/she strays there are reasons-which you supplied.
If you are the third in a marriage- You are there of your own free will-you chose to be there- nobody held a gunt to your head to put you in that position.
The adulterer, the mistress, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband all share the responsibility for an affair equally.
Everyone in that equation is equally responible no less nor no more for creating the situation.
People who cheat are SCUMBAGS PERIOD! And the thought that spouses 'drive' their other half to cheat is BULL SHIT!! In my situation my cowardly husband never told me he was unhappy...not ONCE, so how the hell could I have fixed anything????? Here's news for you all you cheating dumbshits: When you COMITT to another person you WORK on your problems because you married that person. You do not leave the marriage and hook up with someone else. Bottom line is: people who cheat are WEAK and have no integrity or maturity. Don't ever get married if you can't address issues in an adult relationship because every single marriage will have issues, EVERY single one. It's how you handle them that makes you a coward or a respectable adult.
He left her for me in the end and then I rejected him...:)
There is no shared responsibility! Men & women who cheat and get others are scumbags, sluts whatever you like!
Walk away if your not happy! Talk if you love them & want changes! But don't accidentally fall & put your c..k into or open your legs freely hurting others!
3 years no sex = unhappy marriage = divorce
It does not = shagging around have the guts to leave
Some ppl are only happy wanting something they can't have!
Would I ever hurt another woman! With children! NO because no matter if he was sex on legs & was sad & depressed, I have to much respect for me & other ladies & mums
Pathetic excuses! If your unhappy leave
I get so damn sick and tired of you damn wifes getting so upset with bitches who dont lee you shit.Do you want to know why they stay with you? I'll tell you....Because you bitter vindictive bitches will not except the fact that he wants out,you will try to take everthing he has worked hard for and his ass is scared,simple as that.he may very well still have feelings for you but bet your bottom dollar you and him are still married because of his money.Homewrecker my ass that shit is funny....how is a mistress going to wreck something that is suppose to be not easily broken.think about it.
Why don't wives make a conscious decision and a pact. IF any husband cheats - you can do the same. Go on Craig's list. Bring home jigalow 1/2 his age and twice his size and f*#$# his brains out. Enjoy all the pleasures you will get out of it and the best way to release frustrations.
You no longer will be bitchy or a wicked wife, rather a happy and satisfied one.
Why get mad! Get EVEN.
Ciao~
Women need to STOP blaming the person who did not make vows to them. IF your man was satisfied with you, he would not be pursuing another woman, so stop getting it twisted! Yes I am involved with a married man, I don't owe his wife anything! I don't know her and I'm sure we wouldn't be cool if I did (even if no affair were taking place). I am not trying to "steal" her man from her..he pursued me with all the right stuff (gifts, money, etc.) I don't want to marry this guy or for him to even leave his wife. I have a man of my own who is currently over seas on a work assignment, so no desperation here! A hit dog will holler..you married women need to check your men and ask him why he was the one who stepped out of the marriage, not the woman who doesn't even know you.
oh my word
people think its fine to wreck families and shit on people from a great hight
good luck to you all wishing you all a bit od show on the other foot one day
hope it hurts real bad
I can identify with Izzy. I also refused to get involved in a married mans cycle of feeding his ego from the high he got from cheating, not trying very hard to cover it up and feeding his wife's fragile ego the crumbs of it as he tears her down and then build her back up as the winner, the one that he proclaims to love so much that he'd never leave. What he's really discovered is that she'll never leave no mtter what. The so called other women are shamelessly used and disposed of with purpose:to assist this couple as their core strength of unity. Inflation, deflation are re-inflation of 2 overblown egos, narcissism and lots of drama make all of this possible-in addition to the explioting of many insecurities between 2 people who took vows that are repeatedly broken. Real issues are never addressed. Wash, rinse, repeat.
I am thankful that my involvement in this was brief because I never fully fell for his BS to start with. No matter how many women they "process" the real fool being played over and over is indeed the wife. I am not jealous, I am not bitter. These people have so many problems I'd dare say even a skilled professional would have difficulty in even determining a starting point. I feel sorry for the children because this behavior has already become their definition of normal. So so sad.
Thank you for sharing your side of the story.
My husband dumped me for a younger woman, though he's still lying about it. Is dragging the divorce out, blaming me for everything, making up huge stories, making the lawyers happy with nutty claims...
It has caused me to question everything he said about his exwife. Starting to see a pattern here! How many completely crazy, frigid, BAD housekeepers, fat, mean, demeaning, credit card abusing, lazy, YOU NAME IT women can there be out there?
If you're done in your marriage, for whatever reason, SAY SO. Common courtesy? Basic respect? Why do they have to turn us into the 'B' that took all their money. Hello, I was working the whole time too!
It IS a convenant relationship. Don't do it if you still want to be out there, playing around.
I almost feel sorry for the new one, but am glad I don't have to live with a liar and a cheat any more.
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Inspirepub 4 years ago
Well done for spotting him for a fraud so early and getting yourself out of that situation! That took courage.
Jenny